Caught on Film

I remember my dad taking a lot of pictures growing up. My parents also did a lot of home videos of my older brother and I when we were younger - at the zoo, birthday parties, even us just eating dinner with the camera set up on a tripod catching the most routine and seemingly mundane of things. Each time I went on a school field trip or overnighter I would get multiple disposable cameras to take with me. I can remember the excitement of going to the drug store to turn them in and waiting a week to get them back. 

My little brother is ten years younger than I am, and I've often thought about the difference in childhoods. By the time he was born well phones were getting more and more common. And the quality of cameras within those progressing smartphones was getting better and better. We keep so many digital images, but rarely get them printed out and displayed. There are boxes on top of boxes of pictures from when my parents were younger and my own childhood. My little brother won't have the same physical mementos to hold in his hands fifty years from now. 

With my growing interest in photography, I've found myself coming back to that original SLR film camera my dad used for so long. I recently got my first role of film developed and love the images. Some are blurry, others are slightly discolored. But I love the simplicity of them, the lesson in patience and denying my need for instant gratification, and the memories that camera holds for me in my life. 

xxo

Two Cute

I love doing family sessions. This sweet family has twin boys who have very different personalities and dispositions. It was fun to watch their differences and the way mom and dad love them both so dearly.

xxo

Gratitude

This past year and a half has been the most challenging of my life - there's no doubt about that. In the last six months though I've started to feel more settled and less anxious. I'm learning my new job. I'm putting myself out into the community around me more and more. I'm finding gratitude in the little things, like the varying colors of leaves outside my apartment. I love the early morning fog. I'm grateful to be stable enough financially now to put a little bit of each paycheck into retirement and my own savings account. 

I'm hopeful that the year ahead will bring more growth and change. As painful as it can be, it also creates the most profound effects. 

xxo

Falling For You

I think I've made the majority of my new friends through Instagram at this point. I love it. I've met so many creative people, doing amazing things in their lives and in our community. I met Kyra initially through Instagram, and then at social meet-ups. We got together the other weekend to shoot and I'm in love with how they turned out. 

xxo

Regret

I was talking with a coworker this weekend about life experiences and choices. We talked about regret and decisions that lead to pivots in life. I've often heard people say they have no regrets in life, even having been through painful, difficult experiences. But I don't really agree with that. There have been plenty of things I've said or done that I regret. I have hurt others, ignored my intuition, made mistakes, and experienced true heart break. 

That being said, I do believe that, for the most part, we're all just doing the best we can with what we've got. So although I regret things in my past, I don't know that I would wish them away. I made decisions that I thought were right. I spoke heatedly, in the moment, charged up on emotions. But these experiences have taught me great lessons. 

I've learned to be less judgmental. I've learned that we're all going through our own struggles and insecurities. Regret has taught me to be more patient and open minded. Through heart break I'm learning to keep myself open and vulnerable - but only to the right people. Regret is dangerous when turned into guilt and shame. But I think regret can be powerful when it moves us to grow and evolve emotionally and spiritually. 

xxo