Too much free time is a dangerous thing for me. So is packing my schedule so full that I don't take care of myself. When I have unscheduled time, or not much on my to-do list I feel antsy and anxious. I start feeling frustrated with where I'm at, what I don't have, what I want, and then I start feeling guilty for feeling sorry for myself and wanting more. When I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I like it, but it inevitably burns me out and ends with literal physical illness, or a complete mental and emotional breakdown.
Finding and walking the middle path is a daily challenge. One I know I'll work through for the rest of my life. Through the good, the bad, the ugly, the exciting, the trying, through every experience I want to be present and aware; open and full of conviction; brave and vulnerable.