Light & Dark

"When there is no way out, there is still always a way through. So don't turn away from the pain. Face it. Feel it fully. Feel it-don't think about it. Express it, if necessary, but don't create a script in your mind around it. Give all your attenti…

"When there is no way out, there is still always a way through. So don't turn away from the pain. Face it. Feel it fully. Feel it-don't think about it. Express it, if necessary, but don't create a script in your mind around it. Give all your attention to the feeling, not the person, event, or situation that seems to have caused it.

Don't let the mind create a victim identity for yourself out of it. Feeling sorry for yourself and telling others your story will keep you stuck in suffering. Since it is impossible to get away from the feeling, the only possibility of change is to move into it; otherwise, nothing will shift.

 

So give your complete attention to what you feel, and refrain from mentally labeling it. As you go into the feeling, be intensely alert. At first, it may seem like a dark and terrifying place, and when the urge to turn away from it comes, observe it…

So give your complete attention to what you feel, and refrain from mentally labeling it. As you go into the feeling, be intensely alert. At first, it may seem like a dark and terrifying place, and when the urge to turn away from it comes, observe it, but don't act on it. Keep putting your attention on the pain, keep feeling the grief, the fear, the dread, the loneliness, whatever it is. 

Stay alert. Stay present-present with your whole Being, with every cell of your body. As you do so, you are bringing a light into this darkness. This is the flame of your consciousness."

Eckhart Tolle

xo

xo

Productivity Above All Else


I started a new job recently, and I'm in that awkward period of feeling heavily reliant on everyone else around me for directions. I have known for a long time now that I do not like to experience the feeling of asking for help (this is another blog post entirely, or perhaps a question best explored with my therapist). I have always been independent, sometimes, I think, to my detriment. I have a deep desire to be self sufficient and capable of handling things on my own.

But when you are new to anything, you inevitably struggle. Even when you know the struggle builds character, and knowledge, and tenacity. Even knowing that my coworkers are patient and kind, warm-hearted, and eager to help, I have a hard time asking for it. I think really what it comes down to is my need to feel in control. Not knowing what to do, not knowing how to help my boss without asking, propels me into the realm of anxiety. What if she thinks I'm needy? What if my coworkers think I'm lazy? What if I struggle and others see it?

What if, no one else judges me as harshly as I judge myself? What if my boss and coworkers are eager to help and answer my questions and show me the ropes? What if the Universe is conspiring for me, and not against me? 

My work is in getting out of my own way, and not valuing myself on my level of productivity. Because after years and years of full-time work concurrent with full-time school, I've finally got some space to breath and invest in the one thing ahead of me: this new job and the opportunities and experiences and growth it will bring. Some days may drag on, and the anxiety will settle in. Other days I'm sure I won't be able to catch my breath due to a seemingly endless to-do list. But each moment I want to savor and experience in the present moment-not in reflection or anticipation. I want to be in the moment. 

xo

Peace and Sunflowers


The world of Instagram has been blowing up with pictures of these sunflower fields. It's not wonder-they're gorgeous, especially the shots at sunset. I made my way out there with a friend from Madewell, Alex of Tinted Green on Instagram and YouTube. 

This was also during the awful spell of 100+ degree days, so we made our way out for sunrise, hoping to avoid the melting temperatures that basically hit after 8am. I'm so happy with how it turned out.







xxo