Weekly Roundup

This past week I’ve been spending time reading articles, watching a Ted Talk, and watched the movie Just Mercy.

The Good Trade is a website that produces pieces on a variety of themes including sustainability, feminism, and the arts, among others. I resonated with author Kayti Christian and her piece, The Danger & Inherent Privilege of Neutral Politics. In it she points out the role privilege has played in her own politics. Much like Kayti, I mostly followed the lead of my parents when it came time for me to vote. Even now, although my views have grown and changed and developed, and I don’t blindly follow my parents’ views, I don’t do much research myself. And the inherent privilege in that is that I don’t really have to do much research because policy and law, for the most part, supports me and my freedoms as a cisgender, straight, white person. I am learning that I need to educate myself on items on the ballot, on candidates and their true goals and track records, and on the holes and gaps in our justice system, especially for those that are marginalized.

Another article featured on The Good Trade is entitled What it Means to Center Ourselves in Conversation, written by Emily Torres. You’ve likely heard about what it means to be a good listener, and that we typically listen in order to respond, so we don’t really pay attention. Good listening means you hold space for the other person to speak and share, and you don’t bring the conversation back to you and an experience you had.

Emily takes this further and looks at it through the lens of privilege and race by explaining that centering ourselves in conversation usually results in us (the person of privilege) becoming defensive and derailing the other person (who has not experienced the same privilege) in order to protect our fragile ego and sense of self. Again, it’s a way of listening to reply, rather than to comprehend or learn something new. As a white feminist, I’m learning so much about the role that I play, the privilege I have, and the need to decenter myself and listen to and learn from women of color.

Luvvie Ajayi is an author and speaker. I recently watched her 2017 TEDtalk on getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Luvvie talked about acting as a domino and encouraging others to follow suit, to shake up the status quo.

This weekend I’ve started reading Thick, by Tressie McMillan Cottom. More thoughts on that in next week’s Weekly Roundup once I’ve finished it!

Black Lives Matter Marches

I attended my first march/protest/rally a couple months ago for Black Lives Matter. It was such an incredible, inspiring experience. Here are some of the shots I captured along the way. As a photographer, I am inherently a historian. For the most part I’m capturing the history of my personal human experience, of my family, and of my friends. These recent marches were historical on a much grander scale, which is why I chose to shoot with black and while film. It felt like an homage to all of the photographers and historians that came before me, and of those that have been fighting this fight for equity and equality for centuries.

xxo

Weekly Roundup (x2)

Last week I hit a wall. I was feeling so incredibly overwhelmed by all of the news headlines, whether it was about the soaring number of confirmed COVID cases in the U.S., or the videos of people refusing to wear masks in different businesses, or the painful stories (and videos) of racism.

July 3rd was a paid holiday for me, so I decided to turn my phone off for the entire day. One day, at first glance, doesn’t seem like it would have a huge impact. But those 16 waking hours or so without technology started to calm me down. I realized just how often I go to my phone for distraction. I’m moving forward from that experience with less time on my phone. I turned off most of my notifications. I stopped wearing my Fitbit that vibrated every time I got a text or reminder or email. I deleted Tiktok and stopped scrolling on Instagram.

Over the last two weeks my homework included several podcasts and books. I listened to an interview between Emma Watson and Reni Eddo-Lodge, author of Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race. I also listened to an interview between Brené Brown and Ibram X. Kendi, author of several books including How to Be an Antiracist. At one point in the interview, Brené asks Ibram about what it means to be antiracist. I love his response: “The heartbeat of anti-racism is confession, is admission, is acknowledgement, is the willingness to be vulnerable, is the willingness to identify the times in which we are being racist. To be willing to diagnose ourselves and our country in our ideas and our policies.” Ibram also states that being racist or antiracist is not a fixed trait. Sometimes we are racist; sometimes we are antiracist. We will all have our moments. But the heart of antiracism is being able to acknowledge those shortcomings, learn from mistakes and from others, and then to do better.

I also read The Vanishing Half, by Brit Bennett. This was such a great novel. I read it over the course of a couple days. Bennett’s novel covers the lives of family members in several different generations, locations, and their experiences with race and racism.

Weekly Roundup

When the movie Selma first came out, my older brother and I tried to go see it in the theaters. About five minutes into the showing, someone had a medical emergency. Paramedics were called and the movie was stopped, and we didn’t get to view the movie that day.

Earlier this past week, my brother texted me that he and his wife had watched it and that it was incredible. It’s free to rent on Amazon Prime right now (thank you Ava DuVernay for your generosity in making your films so accessible right now). This movie floored me. The parallels to what is going on right now. The performances from each and every actor. The direction and vision of Ava DuVernay. I finished the film and texted my brother right away…”Wow. I think I cried at least five times.” He said they did as well.

It’s painful to watch reenactments of people hating someone and causing harm to their body, mind, and spirit. It’s even harder to watch actual footage of events like this, whether they were decades ago, or moments ago with the current protests and rallies. I think this is one reason I never seriously dove into learning more about personal accounts of the Civil Rights Movement. When I watched 12 Years a Slave years ago, it was incredibly difficult, painful, and draining to watch, knowing that this was common. And yet, I find myself drawn to reading personal stories and accounts of Jewish people in concentration camps and during Hitler’s reign…

I also just finished Between the World and Me, by Ta-Nehisi Coates. Again, I am beginning to see the anger and frustration that POC must feel, knowing that these tragedies keep repeating themselves, people keep getting murdered, with no consequence for the murderers. There were so many parts of this book that I wanted to underline. I felt like I would have highlighted almost all of his words of wisdom. The section where he describes his trips to Paris fascinated me. He was in such awe and wonder of this new place, and yet he couldn’t fully relax because his conditioning in America to always be on the defense stayed with him, even abroad.

Last year I started riding the bus to work once or twice a week. I remember overhearing a conversation of another rider, a Black man, talking on his phone to a friend about a recent trip to the UK. He said something along the lines of feeling safer in London than he does in America. His words struck me then and have obviously stayed with me. I cannot imagine feeling unsafe in my day-to-day life. Yes, there are moments when I feel anxious about being a woman alone on a walk. But that momentary fear or anxiety isn’t from the police, the men and women I was taught are there to serve and protect me. To grow up being taught that those with power (and guns) are not really there to protect you, but to judge you and harm you…I can’t even begin to imagine the toll that takes on your nervous system.

In the week ahead I hope to dive into more podcasts. Emma Watson recently posted about this playlist with shows and episodes to listen to. I’ll report back next week with my reaction to more resources!

xxo

My Best Self

Here are some quarantine self-portraits that make me happy.

xxo