Women Are Still In Emotional Bondage

“Women are still in emotional bondage as long as we need to worry that we might have to make a choice between being heard and being loved.” Marianne Williamson wrote these words. She is also responsible for one of my favorite passages,

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. You were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

I am writing this on the day before I leave for a retreat with the high school girls that I work with. As you are reading this though it will already be underway. One of the things I love about these retreats is the space it creates to reflect, to connect, and to let go. The girls don’t take their phones, and I, for the most part, keep mine tucked away as well. We spend time alone and together, in a large group and in small groups.

This retreat greatly impacted my life last year. And this year, as I go into it again, I’m changed even more by the fact that I’ll be starting my masters program in marriage and family therapy in the fall. This is what makes me vibrate with joy and purpose. This is just the beginning for me and my career path. I want to work with girls and women to remove that fear of making a choice to either be heard or to be loved. I want to work for a world in which we are both heard and loved.

Digital Portraits

I’ve been resistant lately to digital photography. My focus has been solely on film, and even that has slowed down in recent months. Part of this is because I recently moved and have been busy with other things. Another part of this is the lack of adventures and day-trips. But I always have a camera on me, whether it’s a regular day of going to work or I’m traveling to a new city.

My recent indifference to digital photography was born out of this idea that film is so much better. But one is not better than the other. They are both creative endeavors. There is so much about digital photography that I have yet to learn, as well as with film. I’m learning to appreciate both mediums and to challenge myself and enjoy myself with both.

Self Portraits

Just a couple recent 35mm self portraits I’m diggin.

Four Wheels

Over the last couple months I’ve watched several coming-of-age movies about skaters. The first was Skate Kitchen, which follows Camille, an 18 year old skater from Long Island as she navigates adolescence and finds new friends and connections through an all-girls skateboard collective in the city.

Most recently I watched The Land and the story of a group of boys from Cleveland as they struggle to make ends meet, to break into the sponsored skateboarding world, and find themselves way in over their heads in the end.

What I love about these movies is learning about a new culture. The skateboarding culture feels gritty, loose, and free. From the way they dress to the way they move on their boards, I’m mesmerized by it all. I regularly find myself jealous of people who pour themselves into their craft. Musicians who practice their instruments for hours every day, the teens from these two movies practicing tricks and skills for hours a day. The dedication to their craft and focus is beyond anything I can see myself doing.

Last month I was out for a walk in my new neighborhood when I saw a young man practicing tricks on his board in a parking lot. I’ve been working on building up the courage and confidence to ask strangers I feel drawn to if I can take their portrait. And this guy was gracious enough to let me practice. Thanks, Tony.

Montmartre