I've Got Your Back ft. Casey Zaring

Surprise, surprise, it's another yogi goddess featured on IGYB today. They're just all so awesome. I met Casey years ago through Zuda yoga. She took my class a long time ago and commented on how she liked my music and I was like, I like you! Seriously, anyone who connects with me over my music choices for the classes I teach...instant friends.


What is a recent book or article that you’ve read that has challenged your thinking, inspired you, or changed you?
I have been reading, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo. It’s an approach to physically tidying up. Her theory is that everything you own should bring good energy into your residence, and that it should bring you joy. So you’re required in this process to sort of overhaul your whole situation. If it doesn’t bring you joy when you physically touch it, you discard it. So you start with things like clothes-things that aren’t going to be super difficult. And then you eventually make your way to the sentimental things. It’s very eye opening.

Who is an influencer in your life?
There are so many good ones! Most recently, though, it’s been Laura Francis. I work at Zuda Yoga on Saturday afternoons, and Laura has taught the Saturday 4:30p class for a long time. One day, if my teaching and my presence can get to the point of not having to raise my voice, or physically touch a single person, or really do anything to hold power and space in a room, that will be an indicator of success for me. And Laura Francis does all of those things. She is just real. There were times when she would come into the studio and say, “I’m angry. And I need to talk about this thing that’s going on in my life.” She makes it ok to talk about real emotions and real life.

What does feminism mean to you?
My idea of feminism now is so different than what I used to think of it as. I used to think it meant you hate men, but at the same time you try to be like a man. But feminism is not that.

To me, feminism is about being not only grateful to be female, but also not being afraid to show your femininity to other people. I think so much of our female existence is spent muting our feminine qualities and holding back.

And it’s not only about women. Feminism is this inclusive thing that is about embracing equality and justice for every living person.


Do you have a favorite quote or mantra that you try to live your life by?
There’s something I read in The Yamas and Niyamas, by Deborah Adele, that has stuck with me since teacher training at Zuda. Adele is speaking to attachment, and she says anything we cling to will create a maintenance problem for us, and that attachments ruin our day when they aren’t fulfilled. Most pointedly, Adele says, “Like a trapeze artist, are we willing to be suspended in mid air, in total trust of the timing, and of a future that is greater than the one we are holding onto.”

What are you most passionate about?
My personal mission is to connect. I believe that at the end of the day, that’s what this whole journey is about-to connect. I’m most passionate about language and communication. I feel like the breakdown in communication is where every problem in our world comes from. I want to learn how to use language to connect, rather than divide. That’s what drew me to linguistics and anthropology.

How are you an agent for communication and connection?
My main contribution to language is that I’ll continue to encourage those in my life to learn and grow. I want to make sure people know it’s not ok to ostracize or marginalize someone else because of their life experience and their language skills.


Finish this sentence: I am _______________.

I am powerful.

Casey's got your back.
xxo
SaveSave

I've Got Your Back, ft. Jenny Neal


I've known Jenny for years now. We first met through Zuda Yoga, an incredibly important space and community for me. Jenny is the studio manager, as well as just a general kick-ass human being. 

What is a recent book or article that you’ve read that has challenged your thinking, inspired you, or changed you?
There’s a book by Tim Ferris called Tools of Titans, and it’s like the Bible. It’s a bunch of billionaires and successful people talking about their tricks and things they’ve done to succeed in life. I read some of it every single night. I’m learning about routines, commitment, and focus. It’s really teaching me how to succeed and learn through the mistakes the people in Ferris’s book share.

I tend to take on a lot of projects and only complete about twenty percent of them. So this book is helping me focus on what my passion is, what I want to do with my life, and then executing those goals.

Who is an influencer in your life?
Gabriel Bernstein is an influencer in my life. She is somebody who doesn’t give a shit about what other people think of her. She just lives this authentic, real, weird, goddess life. She teaches Kundalini yoga and wrote the book, Miracles Now, and follows in the way of Marianne Williamson.

She lives authentically and makes Kundalini yoga cool. And that’s something that I struggle with because Kundalini is kinda weird and not necessarily something people want to do. So I’m learning from Gabriel Bernstein how to get people interested and make it accessible.  


What does feminism mean to you?
Is it bad that I’ve never really thought about that? I struggle with that word…and I’m not really sure why. I feel like it means being authentic, living in integrity, and doing whatever you want to do without worrying what other people will think of you.

Do you think the struggle comes from the stigma that’s often attached to the word feminism?
I think I get this feeling that identifying as feminist makes you this very specific woman who is anti-men, standing on the corner of a street fighting for something. I don’t feel that my job on this planet is to fight for anything; I am a love warrior and so everything that I do comes from love. So that word just isn’t in my vocabulary. What other word would you use in place of feminism?

For me I think the closest thing would be equality. That’s what I most closely associate it with-equality for everyone. I wonder though, how we can make that shift from fighting for something to being a love warrior…what does that look like to you?
There’s this quote that I live by from Yogi Bhajan and it says, “If you cannot see God in all, you cannot see God at all.” If I look at you, I don’t see a female, I don’t see a male, I just see your spirit. And however you choose to express yourself, as long as you aren’t harming anyone, is right.


How do you then handle situations when someone is harming someone else-politically, environmentally, etc.?
Well let’s look at the Dakota Pipeline scenario. We had a prayer circle and each person within the circle focused on someone specific. I was focusing my prayers on the people who were causing harm. They need love more than anybody else.

I’m not going to alienate someone who is causing harm. I’m going to lead by example and show love to everyone. I’ll ask myself, “Why is this person behaving this way or acting out this way?” And the answer is almost always because they need love and attention. It’s either a cry for love or an act for love, as my teacher Anne Marie says.

Feminism is such a personal word and belief-I mean, that’s why the question is so open ended. “What does feminism mean to you.” Because even if maybe at the root of it it’s the idea of equality of the sexes, I’ve gotten different answers from each woman I’ve interviewed. And each one is different than my own interpretation. So these varied answers are helping me, and hopefully those reading the interviews, grow and expand and update my definition of feminism.
Yeah. So then I would just say it means living true to who you are whether you’re female or male.


Do you have a favorite quote or mantra that you try to live your life by?
There’s another quote from Yogi Bhajan that I would say I love most, and that’s “Recognize that the other person is you.” That’s one that I live by every single day. Everybody walking this earth is a mirror of who we are.

What are you most passionate about?
I’m most passionate about my women’s circles-gathering women in tribe and playing sound bowls, sitting around crystals, burning those things that no longer serve us and setting intentions. It’s this empowering, kind of underground group. It was like birthed through me. I hope to use these circles to give women a voice to share and be vulnerable. And then through it I hope to gain community and connection. I guess there’s my feminism right there!

How are you an agent for community and bringing women together?
I’m planning a retreat right now. It’s just one of those things where you say yes and then figure it out along the way. I don’t want to have an expectation. I want to let it decide where to go along the way.

Finish this sentence: I am _______________.
I am a goddess warrior of love.

Jenny's got your back.
xxo
SaveSaveSaveSave

Back Again



I've been finding myself down at the river a lot lately. In the short periods of warm sunlight we're getting lately, I'm finding myself drawn to the water. Leon Bridges has a beautiful song called River that I used to be obsessed with. It recently came back into rotation and I'm just as touched by it now. 



There's something so cathartic about the water for me-whether it's a walk along the river, a hot bath at the end of the day, or diving into a swimming pool. I think it's a ritualistic thing for me. It feels like a cleansing ritual, a letting go of things no longer serving me, and coming up lighter and cleaner. Not cleaner in the sense of shame or guilt for being "dirty." But cleaner in the sense of letting go of negative energy and things holding me back from living authentically. 



xxo

I've Got Your Back, ft. Marissa Maldonado


I met Marissa at Inspire Midtown's Minute Mentoring event in January. Marissa is this bolt of energy and authenticity. She received me so warmly at the event, made space in her evening later that week to meet up for dinner and talk about where I'm at on my path and my job search, and has continued to be a friend and encourager. 

What is a recent book or article that you’ve read that has challenged your thinking, inspired you, or changed you?
I’m an avid reader. Right now I’m reading one that’s hard to get through because I cry in every chapter. It’s called Tattoos on the Heart, by Father Greg Boyle. He started Homeboy Industries in L.A. years ago. I think what’s challenging me is that I’m an empathizer, so when I hear people’ s stories I really take them on. I’ll hear the same stories over and over and become frustrated with the systems that have let people down. So I see the systems and not the person sometimes. I think it’s just the way my brain works. My brain works with systems and business and integration. So when I hear their stories, I see the systemic issues that have impacted their lives.

Father Greg is able to look at the person and hear their story, but not let it overwhelm him. He can see the person for who they are, where they’re at, and calls them to be who they are meant to be. So instead of feeding into the emotion of it all, he really just stops and looks at them. And they could still be gangbanging, have just shot someone, or are currently on drugs, and he just calls them out for what they could be: clean, sober, holding down a job, letting go of past decisions and moving forward. That’s something I’m really trying to incorporate into my daily life and my work life. I want to be able to call out the goodness in people and then walk along side them.


Who is an influencer in your life?
My mom. People will ask me why the work I’m doing right now is my dream job. It’s because I watched her struggle while I grew up and even as a nine-year-old I knew this isn’t fair or just and there has to be another way to get by. She worked her ass off. She worked seven days a week my whole childhood to make sure bills were paid, dinner-that she prepared-was on the table, we all got to practices on time and got to do extracurricular activities. No one ever went without. But it’s all because she just never rested.

And I don’t think that was healthy. But what she taught me is the hustle. She had so much heart. She didn’t do all of these things for personal gain. She did it because she was dealt the hand she was dealt-and some of it was due to choices she had made-and she chose to hustle to give my siblings and me a chance at something different.

It’s been so inbred in me to hustle of behalf of others. Watching her do it in an unhealthy way though has taught me to establish boundaries and I’ve learned how to take care of myself.

How do you practice self-care?
Yoga is one way. I’m big on physical fitness. And my self-care starts in the morning so that I can expend heart and mind throughout the day. I wake up around 5am and will spend time reading and working out. Breakfast is the one meal I’ll always cook. Breakfast is so important and I make sure to sit down to it for my alone time. That space really allows me to then give myself to others throughout the day.


What does feminism mean to you?
We don’t have to follow the same path. We have the ability to choose. It’s totally ok if I am 27 years old and don’t want to be married yet with kids. I think mentally and physically I could handle it all. But there are still a lot of things I want to put my hands to.

I went to the ballet last night and realized I want to see this movement for men of what it looks like to not have to be dominant and within a specific role that society has created.

Feminism to me means we’re not bound to a social structure. I think we’re unique in our making and how we work. But it expresses itself differently from one woman to another woman and from one man to another man. We can embark on our individual pursuit of happiness.

And there’s so much variation, even just from city to city, of what those expectations are for the sexes.
Yeah. I went to a private Christian college and there’s the phrase, “ring by spring.” It’s all about finding a husband by the spring semester. And I was adamantly against this. I did my senior project on the anti “ring by spring” rhetoric. 

I’m still part of the Christian community that might sometimes put this pressure on young people to get married. But I’m hoping to show what it looks like to embrace roles and differences, but to not let those differences define who we are and what we do. 


Do you have a favorite quote or mantra that you try to live your life by?
“Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies-those transcendent moments of awe.” –John Milton

I feel like when I embraced my background and my story and all these different things about myself, it allowed me to have reverence for those different places in my life.

I embrace that I’m bossy and I’ve stopped apologizing for it. I embrace that I’m both a feminist and a Christian. I embrace the fact that I didn’t come from the cleanest home. If we live in these pockets of shame, like Brene Brown says, vulnerability just opens up the world to us. When we start to peel off all those layers of shame, and have gratitude for the good and the bad, it creates space for these pivotal moments of awe.


What are you most passionate about?
Empowerment. I realized recently that one of my favorite things to do is to find out what other people want to do, what their dreams are, and then help get them there. I hope that wherever I go I’m empowering people to be who they are and to be excited about it. Worse case scenario, you find out it’s something you don’t want to do, and you’ve learned something. It uncovers this bravery inside of you when you do something you wouldn’t normally do. 

I hope to be an encourager.


How are you an agent for empowerment and feminism, and those things that are important at your core?
I started a new job this year with City of Refuge as the Director of Operations. I helped start a program called SHINE where we go into schools and talk about strength, worth, and purpose with girls 4th-12th grade. We started in just one school, and now SHINE is in six schools. In doing this program I realized each of these girls is so unique. I knew I was passionate about it because I didn’t mind giving up my lunch hour to go to a meeting, or giving up my evenings to prep materials, or having to work a longer day on Fridays so that during the week I could be on these campuses with the girls. I loved that space.

The girls are walking away hearing something they might not get anywhere else. And they’re learning it together. So you’re sitting next to forty nine other girls who go to school with you on a daily basis who probably know parts of your story-whether you want them to or not. And within those fifty girls, they’re all part of different cliques. At SHINE get to take off all these labels and get to the three pillars of strength, worth, and purpose, and to create space for them to really see that in one another. We do a lot of small group discussions in order to bring these girls face-to-face with what someone else’s reality is, and it changes the way these girls interact with one another, and it changes the way they even treat themselves. They have a little more grace for their sisters, and then in turn for themselves.

Finish this sentence: I am _______________.
I am silly.
I am brave.
I am hardworking.
I am kind.

Marissa has your back.
xxo