I've Got Your Back, ft. Marissa Maldonado

I met Marissa at Inspire Midtown's Minute Mentoring event in January. Marissa is this bolt of energy and authenticity. She received me so warmly at the event, made space in her evening later that week to meet up for dinner and talk about where I'm at on my path and my job search, and has continued to be a friend and encourager. 

What is a recent book or article that you’ve read that has challenged your thinking, inspired you, or changed you?

I’m an avid reader. Right now I’m reading one that’s hard to get through because I cry in every chapter. It’s called Tattoos on the Heart, by Father Greg Boyle. He started Homeboy Industries in L.A. years ago. I think what’s challenging me is that I’m an empathizer, so when I hear people’ s stories I really take them on. I’ll hear the same stories over and over and become frustrated with the systems that have let people down. So I see the systems and not the person sometimes. I think it’s just the way my brain works. My brain works with systems and business and integration. So when I hear their stories, I see the systemic issues that have impacted their lives.

Father Greg is able to look at the person and hear their story, but not let it overwhelm him. He can see the person for who they are, where they’re at, and calls them to be who they are meant to be. So instead of feeding into the emotion of it all, he really just stops and looks at them. And they could still be gangbanging, have just shot someone, or are currently on drugs, and he just calls them out for what they could be: clean, sober, holding down a job, letting go of past decisions and moving forward. That’s something I’m really trying to incorporate into my daily life and my work life. I want to be able to call out the goodness in people and then walk along side them.

Who is an influencer in your life?

My mom. People will ask me why the work I’m doing right now is my dream job. It’s because I watched her struggle while I grew up and even as a nine-year-old I knew this isn’t fair or just and there has to be another way to get by. She worked her ass off. She worked seven days a week my whole childhood to make sure bills were paid, dinner-that she prepared-was on the table, we all got to practices on time and got to do extracurricular activities. No one ever went without. But it’s all because she just never rested.

And I don’t think that was healthy. But what she taught me is the hustle. She had so much heart. She didn’t do all of these things for personal gain. She did it because she was dealt the hand she was dealt-and some of it was due to choices she had made-and she chose to hustle to give my siblings and me a chance at something different.

It’s been so inbred in me to hustle of behalf of others. Watching her do it in an unhealthy way though has taught me to establish boundaries and I’ve learned how to take care of myself.

How do you practice self-care?

Yoga is one way. I’m big on physical fitness. And my self-care starts in the morning so that I can expend heart and mind throughout the day. I wake up around 5am and will spend time reading and working out. Breakfast is the one meal I’ll always cook. Breakfast is so important and I make sure to sit down to it for my alone time. That space really allows me to then give myself to others throughout the day.

What does feminism mean to you?

We don’t have to follow the same path. We have the ability to choose. It’s totally ok if I am 27 years old and don’t want to be married yet with kids. I think mentally and physically I could handle it all. But there are still a lot of things I want to put my hands to.

I went to the ballet last night and realized I want to see this movement for men of what it looks like to not have to be dominant and within a specific role that society has created.

Feminism to me means we’re not bound to a social structure. I think we’re unique in our making and how we work. But it expresses itself differently from one woman to another woman and from one man to another man. We can embark on our individual pursuit of happiness.

And there’s so much variation, even just from city to city, of what those expectations are for the sexes.

Yeah. I went to a private Christian college and there’s the phrase, “ring by spring.” It’s all about finding a husband by the spring semester. And I was adamantly against this. I did my senior project on the anti “ring by spring” rhetoric. 

I’m still part of the Christian community that might sometimes put this pressure on young people to get married. But I’m hoping to show what it looks like to embrace roles and differences, but to not let those differences define who we are and what we do. 

Do you have a favorite quote or mantra that you try to live your life by?

“Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies-those transcendent moments of awe.” –John Milton

I feel like when I embraced my background and my story and all these different things about myself, it allowed me to have reverence for those different places in my life.

I embrace that I’m bossy and I’ve stopped apologizing for it. I embrace that I’m both a feminist and a Christian. I embrace the fact that I didn’t come from the cleanest home. If we live in these pockets of shame, like Brene Brown says, vulnerability just opens up the world to us. When we start to peel off all those layers of shame, and have gratitude for the good and the bad, it creates space for these pivotal moments of awe.

What are you most passionate about?

Empowerment. I realized recently that one of my favorite things to do is to find out what other people want to do, what their dreams are, and then help get them there. I hope that wherever I go I’m empowering people to be who they are and to be excited about it. Worse case scenario, you find out it’s something you don’t want to do, and you’ve learned something. It uncovers this bravery inside of you when you do something you wouldn’t normally do. 

I hope to be an encourager.

How are you an agent for empowerment and feminism, and those things that are important at your core?

I started a new job this year with City of Refuge as the Director of Operations. I helped start a program called SHINE where we go into schools and talk about strength, worth, and purpose with girls 4^th-12^th grade. We started in just one school, and now SHINE is in six schools. In doing this program I realized each of these girls is so unique. I knew I was passionate about it because I didn’t mind giving up my lunch hour to go to a meeting, or giving up my evenings to prep materials, or having to work a longer day on Fridays so that during the week I could be on these campuses with the girls. I loved that space.

The girls are walking away hearing something they might not get anywhere else. And they’re learning it together. So you’re sitting next to forty nine other girls who go to school with you on a daily basis who probably know parts of your story-whether you want them to or not. And within those fifty girls, they’re all part of different cliques. At SHINE get to take off all these labels and get to the three pillars of strength, worth, and purpose, and to create space for them to really see that in one another. We do a lot of small group discussions in order to bring these girls face-to-face with what someone else’s reality is, and it changes the way these girls interact with one another, and it changes the way they even treat themselves. They have a little more grace for their sisters, and then in turn for themselves.

Finish this sentence: I am _______________.

I am silly.

I am brave.

I am hardworking.

I am kind.

Marissa has your back.

xxo

Snow Day

This past Saturday I spent the day with new friends on an adventure to the snow. I met Tavio through a friend a couple years ago, but we mostly built our interaction and friendship through Instagram. He's a local photographer with great work and a thing for spontaneity. He put together this excursion and through it I met Alex and JD, both awesome human beings. Oh, and Alex brought along her mini husky she was dog sitting, Reggae, along for the ride.

I've been so blown away by my experience on Instagram. I resisted it for so long because I thought it would be a similar experience for me as Facebook was-bringing up feelings of jealousy and inadequacy looking at what everyone else is doing. But in reality, I've discovered so many creative people that inspire me. I've made connections with several photographers and local artists. I've been able to use the platform to challenge myself, both in my photography and in socializing. 

Also, I want to move in to this cozy cabin and sit by the fire all day watching the snow fall with a warm cup of coffee. Please and thank you. Outside of the pics of Alex and JD, none of these photos were edited because Mother Nature is goddamn gorgeous all herself. 

xxo

I've Got Your Back, ft Claire Buchanan

Claire and I go way back to kindergarten at Mission Avenue Elementary School. We went to separate high schools and then off to college and adulthood. The universe only recently brought us back together, through yoga of course. So thankful to know this shining human and to get to reconnect with her. 

What is a recent book or article that you’ve read that has challenged your thinking, inspired you, or changed you?

I just finished Flow, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. It’s about how to achieve an experience of joy in your daily life. It’s all about setting goals and having rules to how you’re going to do any activity and how all these different elements of framework will then produce enjoyment. It can be challenging to make the everyday enjoyable, especially the repetitiveness of work.

I also recently reread A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. It’s pretty challenging and pretty raw. I’ve read it several times. I feel like it’s a good book to read about relationships and how to really take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

Who is an influencer in your life?

My biggest influence comes from my family and my parents. They’re always challenging me and supporting me in the best, most balanced way that they can, and unconditionally loving me, which is something that I think I’m still trying to learn.

I feel really influenced by our community too. It’s so fun that I can have my scientific community and my work community and they’re challenging and inspiring me in ways. Then I come home from work and go to yoga and have that community. I look around and see that everyone there is so different, but they’re all there for the same reason and they’re all going to smile at you and greet you. And you’re all working together.

What does feminism mean to you?

I see it as strength. It sometimes has the connotation of being a whiney thing, or women having to prove themselves. But I think of it as a special strength that only we have. I think that biologically, we’re the badasses having babies and doing all of this incredible stuff with our bodies. But then also emotionally we’re compassionate and loving beings. Women tend to be that motherly figure, and you don’t have to be a mom to have those tendencies. We’re going to be like that with our friends and partners and those around them. Feminism is a special strength that we all share. And some people choose to voice it and show it more than others. I think some people may never have had the opportunity or the platform to be that strong feminist, and we’re lucky in California and America to stand up and shout out “Girl Power!”

There’s this shift from relying on men is huge. I think that women, especially in our generation, are realizing that independence is becoming one of the most attractive things about a woman.

Do you have a favorite quote or mantra that you try to live your life by?

One that is my favorite and so simple is from Henry David Thoreau. He says, “All good things are wild and free.” And it applies to me in so many ways. In my work world I try to literally keep things wild and free. I see it with my own eyes and touch it with my hands and think, man, we’ve got to keep this the way it is. Conservation of what we have is so important. And for me in my life I can’t sit still and be in one place. I’ve got to explore and enjoy the world.

What are you most passionate about?

I’m very passionate about the outdoors. I’m passionate about the relationships between environment and humans. It’s so cool to share that passion with others outside of my work. Like when I take volunteers of our program out and show them a wild trout, they have this instant aha moment of like, “this is what it’s all about.” I think it’s about enjoying the innate gifts we’ve been given. It’s beyond anything else.

How are you an agent for change and education for nature and conservation?

My ultimate dream is to be involved in decision making when it comes to environmental law and policy and the role that California will have in the future of our planet.

Right now in my position I do a lot of outreach. I’ll go in to high schools and lecture; I’ll take students into the field. I love working with our organization’s volunteers.

Finish this sentence: I am _______________.

I am enthusiastic.

Claire has your back.

xxo

River Walk

Last weekend, in our glorious break from this drab, rainy weather, I went for a walk along the American River. In fact, I ended up spending about two hours out there. I was feeling emotional and needed to feel the sun on my skin and clear the racing thoughts in my head. 

Over the last several months I've been reading The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. It's been challenging me to let go of the pain of leaving and losing the kids I nannied. Although, I think I'll forever be trying to find the balance of allowing myself to grieve and be sad, with letting go of that emotion and bringing myself to the Now. 

The state of California's drought over the last few years, and now this sudden state of flooding and stress on our dams has me thinking of the way life cycles through. Sometimes we are up, sometimes we are down. There are times of joy and peace, then those of heartache and misery. It's much harder to recognize the seemingly mundane moments. And what Tolle is pointing out is that whatever season you're in, you have the power to be in the Now, to be connected with Being and to let go of things like stress, anxiety, doubt, guilt, pain...I'll share this excerpt from The Power of Now:

"It is not true that the up cycle is good and the down cycle is bad, except in the mind's judgement. Growth is usually considered positive, but nothing can grow forever. If growth, of whatever kind, were to go on and on, it would eventually become monstrous and destructive. Dissolution is needed for new growth to happen. One cannot exist without the other.

The down cycle is absolutely essential for spiritual realization. You must have failed deeply on some level or experienced some deep loss or pain to be drawn to the spiritual dimension."

As I walked along the river and saw the flooding of trails and the changed water levels, I let myself feel sad. I listened to music that digs at my heart. I held my crystals and felt their energy. All of these actions kept me present and honest. Tears came, and then they stopped. My feet kept moving. And then they stoped in moments of wonder. My heart ached, and then it softened. 

I am on a journey, unique and yet interconnected with so many others. I will do my best to show up as authentically and brave as I can. 

xxo

I've Got Your Back, ft. Allie Eklund

I met Allie first through Instagram, then on my birthday this year at her Inspire Midtown Minute Mentoring event. She was such a gracious host and encouraging of everyone there. I'm thankful we've been able to connect outside of social media because, as you'll read below, she's a pretty incredible woman...

What is a recent book or article that you’ve read that has challenged your thinking, inspired you, or changed you?

I keep going back to a podcast on NPR. The podcast series is called, How I Built This.  And the one I keep listening to is, How I Built This with Joe Gebbia of Airbnb. It’s just such an exciting story to listen to about how he built a business that, at one time, was a weird concept to basically everyone. He talks about how he believed in the concept and they strategized on how to make this relevant and sort of change the way we go overnight to places, where we stay and how we stay, and what we consider community and normalcy.

That’s inspired me because it makes me feel like I need to just keep chugging along with my passion, which is Inspire Midtown. It’s exciting to hear about the start-up phase and tweaking things, making it work, and finding the market.

I’ve seen this trend of people on social media, especially the ones that have a large following, talk about quitting their corporate jobs because they were miserable and then made it as a blogger or travel Instagram account or photographer…but it’s more realistic to see those individuals as the anomaly, not as the majority.

Watching people quit their day job with no real plan in place is often a mistake. And I do think that social media beautifies that idea. It takes a long time to get someone to pay you for what you want to be doing. And it’s so unknown.

That’s why there’s this focus on it being a “side hustle.”

Absolutely. I think it’s the people who are willing to moonlight who are able to make that transition. If you have that drive to work your day job and give time and energy to your side hustle, then you maybe transition to being able to either work less or totally leave. But in doing so you have a plan in place to take care of yourself.

I wrote an article for Girls on the Grid about five freelancing women and their journey through it all. Some had made it, some were working on making it. And a lot of them said it’s financially hard to do it alone. In fact, I think all of them had, to some degree, assistance from a significant other to pursue freelance without personally taking on 100% of the financial burden.

One really great piece of advice I got through this research and writing process was to make sure you have irons in the fire before you make the switch the fulltime freelance. Make sure you have clients lined up. Make sure you have some contracts solidified. It takes a lot of time and is a lot of work.

Who is an influencer in your life?

I think the most natural answer is my dad. While he and I maybe don’t see eye-to-eye on the things I’m passionate about with Inspire Midtown, I work with him directly one-on-one at work and he has been the best mentor for me. And it feels funny to say that my parent is also my mentor, but I just couldn’t image not being mentored by him. My experience in working with him has been wonderful, and I’ll always cherish that. He inspires me to be the best I can be at my work, and in everything I do.

What does feminism mean to you?

Feminism means that you can be exactly who you want to be. You don’t have to answer to society. And that can be hard for me. I feel like I was raised in an environment where I was told, “no, you need to conform.” And part of feminism is learning to question that need to conform. College taught me to be a feminist. And I think questioning conformity is a big part of feminism.

Most importantly, what I think I’d want everyone to know about feminism, is that it means that you want equality for all.

Do you have a favorite quote or mantra that you try to live your life by?

My photography teacher in high school was this very easy going, very balanced, relaxed teacher. Which wasn’t really normal for high school teachers. And she said something that has really been true for me. She said that life is really about balance, and that was so real for me. It has helped me come back to equilibrium in so many different areas of my life.

What are you most passionate about?

I get a fire in my belly about justice. I might not wear that on my sleeve. But those who know me intimately know that I can get really passionate or aggravated when I see injustice. It started when I was a kid. And I don’t even know what it was that made me think, “This isn’t fair!” There wasn’t that defining moment. I think it’s just one of those things that I’ve always known. I used to want to be a lawyer and fight for justice.  That puts a fire in my belly and makes me passionate.

There’s a lot of injustice that I see, not just in our community here with women’s rights, but also across the world. It affects lives and economies, on a micro and a macro level. Fighting injustice towards women, that’s my life’s calling…that is my life’s calling.

How are you an agent for justice and feminism, and those things that are important at your core?

I think I try to find a positive way to speak up about it. I learned at an early age that when you respond with fire, people often don’t listen. In fact, they disengage. So it’s important to find the right way to educate and communicate a message of injustice or inequality. That is how I will be an agent of change.

Finish this sentence: I am _______________.

I am in love with myself. There are bad days and sad days. But there’s not a day where I wish I were different. I think I really created the space in my twenties to love myself by following this calling to create Inspire Midtown and making some bold moves and taking risks. I learned to listen to my internal voice, which is something I’ve worked really hard on.

Allie's got your back.

xxo